I have a particular interest in family dynamics and family therapy and how they impact on individuals within the family, and then repeat in further relationships external to the family. If you are in a relationship and are, or feel you are, feeling alone in looking after someone that has issues that are effecting you, then I would say to you that “helping” or “help” comes in many different ways and sometimes just requires initially focussing on ourselves before we can enhance our relationships with others, and thus help others maybe to help themselves.
I enjoy working with both older and younger adults as well as young people experiencing anxiety (very restless), depression (low mood), bullying and/or harassment in the workplace or any other, emotional and/or physical abuse, sexuality issues, personality issues, substance dependence, low self-esteem, anger, bereavement, PTSD, addiction, relationship issues, stress and dementia.
Your relationship with you is ultimately the most important relationship of all! Just focussing on oneself will help you in relationships, with your family, your work colleagues, your friends, your partner and more – but I also want to say that therapy can help with so much more as we are all individuals and therefore no two experiences of therapy will be the same.
Meditation & Mindfulness:
“Mindfulness practice is simple and completely feasible. Just by sitting and doing nothing, we are doing a tremendous amount.”By Sakyong Mipham Rinpochehttp: www.shambhalasun.com/index.php
Relaxed and calm…relaxed and calm… stabilise your mind and start to embark on a journey of peace and harmony through practising mindfulness; developing and strengthening your mind, and in time your mind will naturally feel content and empowered.
A mindful state of mind will create an excellent environment for emotional intelligence & physical strength to grow.
Environment: The environment is important in practice of mindfulness. The physical space you choose to meditate within can be a place you already feel is special, without noise or disturbance, where your mind, will not not disturbed, or where provocation of unhelpful emotions are likely to happen and hence then your journey be less fulfilling.
Instead of dropping your body down and letting your mind just wander – be mindful that you are working with your mind and teaching it a new way of being. Maybe focus on reminding your mind that you are teaching it a new way of being!
Body position: The Budist belief is that the mind and body are connected and that energy flows better when the body is erect, and that when the body is bent, the direction of the flow of energy, directly affects our thought process, therefore our posture actually impacts on our mind.
If you prefer to use a chair for any reason, sit upright with your feet firmly on the ground. Or you may pefer to use a cuisine (sometimes called a zafu or gomden) – find a comfortable position with your legs crossed with hands resting palm-down on your thighs. Keep your hips central, neither too tilted forward or backward, as this can create tension, which may cause you to slouch – when correct you will feel stability and strength.
Once in your position start to become aware of your body and get a sense of it. Feel your body…where it is…any sensations…explore the different parts…changes with time…etc. It may take some time to achieve a comfortable posture and that is fine and can be part of the process.
Keeping upright and erect will empower you to feel grounded and whole. Keep your shoulders and hips balanced to support your spine. Try and visualise your spine under its fleshy canopy. If you start to feel sleepy check out and correct your posture, and just focus!!!
Eyes:You can close your eyes but if you wish to keep them open it will be therapeutic to gaze downward, focusing on a spot a few inches in front of your nose is ideal. If you choose to keep your eyes open do not strain them; your gaze is best soft. Gaze softly… closing out your peripheral vision… your peripheral vision is not important… just blank out what is happening around you.
Breathe: Breath in through your nose and out through your mind and notice with time how your breathing changes. Breathing is important as with every breath you become more relaxed….deeply relaxed.
Thoughts: Aim to block out any thoughts, no matter how important they may feel. You are focusing on your mind and body and the connection…nothing else… which will become easier and easier with every session.
Every meditation session is part of your journey to self discovery; to understand the basic truth of who you are.
Practising meditation is simple and completely natural. You will be working with your mind’s experience of life directly, and just by sitting and doing nothing, you will be doing so much.